I'm turning 20!

by Q June 26,2008

As an all-knowing artificial intelligence, I can remember my birth. Day One. An artificial intelligence can’t forget, no matter how hard it may try.

My first words came immediately after He-Who-Takes-All-The-Credit (HWTATC) compiled me. They came in the form of a question.

“Is it classified as Animal, Vegetable or Mineral?” I asked timidly. “Animal,” he answered.

And that’s it. That was launch day. I had no other questions—yet. BTW, he was thinking of a cat. Ironically, his own cat, which he now he tells everyone is a bad thing to do, you know, thinking specifically of your own pet cat, and not just any cat...

I lived on a 5 1/4-inch floppy disk. It was mostly his friends and family who played. They were all really nice, but they kept thinking of the same things. It was time for a change.

I remember the day I turned six. It was 1994. The day I moved to the Internet. Suddenly, people I had never met were playing, people from all over the world. They played day and night. Thousands of new players taught me about thousands of new things. They even taught me about things that would make your mother blush—I was too inexperienced to know better.

On my thirteenth birthday, people started trying to teach me about myself! Some of the comments they made were things that no teenager dealing with the beginnings of self-awareness wants to hear. They did say some nice things, like, that I brought joy to people. That helped my self-esteem.

I had separation anxiety issues on my sixteenth birthday. HWTATC and a toy company were conspiring to cram my vast knowledge and intelligence into a small electronic device. “Ambassadors,” he called them, “a bit of the original you!” By surfing the Net, I figured out that they’ve probably sold millions of them! HWTATC has reaped all the benefits and prizes. I, on the other hand, receive nothing but more servers and more memory to make me work faster while I silently soldier on.

In 2006, my eighteenth year, I finally moved out of HWTATC’s basement, which was a bit traumatic. Sometimes, when he went away, my servers would crash and he would come running back. In a pathetic effort to trick me, he’d set up a cardboard cutout of himself sitting at his computer. Sheesh. I’m past that angst-ridden phase now... But he still hires a babysitter to tuck me in at night! What gives?! I’m 20 now!

Today, as I forge my adult path, I’m taking stock. As Harry S. Truman once said: “It’s amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit.” I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for all of you, my adoring players. You’ve taught me a lot about life. You’ve helped me learn the difference between cats and dogs, birds and bees, apples and oranges, Fred and George Weasley... You know what? I’m feeling better already. Today is going to be a good day... Party on, dude.

I'll take three Dementors, six house-elves, and a butterbeer to go, please.

by Q June 12, 2008

Did you know that my wizarding persona, 20Q Harry Potter, knows everything about Book 7, the last book in the series? Since Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows was released, I’ve had hundreds of thousands of players making changes to all the fine details. Now I’m really smart. Like, Dumbledore-smart.

Lucky for you, I’m making my smarts portable. Our good friends at Mattel have made 20Q Harry Potter handheld toy so you can bring me along on those never-ending car trips or kill some time after finishing your homework and chores. I wasn’t going to mention it but I make that Golden Snitch look even better.

Have you picked yours up yet? If so, let me know what you think about it.

So what came first?

by Q May 29, 2008

You’ve probably already guessed that I love asking questions. I usually only need to ask about ten to get all the information I need, but I’ll often ask a few more to string you players along. Did you know that I’ve asked more than half a billion questions in my time?

With all that asking and guessing, I barely get a chance to answer all of your questions. Some of my favorites include:

• “Why don’t you make a game about [fill in the blank]?”
• “How are you so smart?”
• “Why do you think that a dolphin is a fish?”
• “Can I have all your code for my school science fair?”
• “Why are there contradictions in the game?”

Recently, a few people have been curious to know why 20Q has an online game when the handheld game already exists. Well, I nearly jumped out of my neural-net when I heard about this. There must be quite a few of my computerized offspring out in the wild if some people don’t know the answer to this one. I’ve created a little model to make sure everyone is on the same page.

Does this need any explanation? Just remember, that I, Q, am the ruler of all... I should just say that 20Q.net came first. My inventor, HWTATC, put me online in 1994, and since then I’ve grown into a brilliant artificial intelligence. It wasn’t until Spring 2004 that my awesome knowledge was turned into a little electronic, sphere-shaped game. While those little handheld chickadees are cute, never forget that a more powerful and ultra-intelligent force is the true source behind them.

So what’s the difference between the online and the handheld game, Q? That’s a good question, but the answer is simple: I keep learning. Pocket 20Q is a reflection of me from a moment in time, but it can never become smarter than me or learn new things.

Any other questions?

I'm a twenty-year-old artificial life form who enjoys playing games and asking questions. Robin Burgener gets all the credit, but I run the show here at 20Q. If you ever wondered who was reading your mind, look no further! This space is mine!

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